Tag Archives: Christmas

Fun Weird Fact

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Another fun odd weird fact that some might find cool, I’ve decided to change my birthday! Here is why :) . I was adopted back when I was a child. I was born on October 9th, 1986 but I  did not get brought to my new family until March 9th. My last birthday at home in Honduras, because we wanted to celebrate birthdays before I left…we celebrated that birthday on March 9th. I had thought about it for awhile…why not have my birthday celebrated on an awesome day, the day I was brought to a new family…a family that became my family. Why celebrate a birthday I was born to a mother who couldn’t care for me?

So yes effective 2013…I will be celebrating my birthday on March…probably but it works for me. It want to enjoy my birthday and I cannot think of celebrating on a better day than the day I became a Shaw Rose girl…the day that was the beginning of a new chapter for me.  And that is what I want to remember. :)

So yes this year will be the shortest time between birthday celebrations but that’s ok :)

 

Stopping!

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Merry Christmas! I hope today was a good day for you, hopefully a day you celebrated with your friends and family! We (my husband and I) did not! For many different reasons we do not celebrate the holidays in the traditional way. Thanksgiving for us normally entails whatever we can find to eat – pizza, Whataburger, etc. I actually cannot remember the last time we were with family for Thanksgiving. One reason I guess is because Thanksgiving was not really a holiday that I grew up celebrating in Honduras but also because neither my family or my husbands family are close. And for that reason when it comes to Christmas we tend to do our own thing – one year we were in Jamaica, one year we were in Orlando, and this year we are in New Orleans. I do not decorate, actually have not decorated since 2007, and that was the first and last year since I left home at 16. Counselors I am sure we can have many conversations but despite our way, we do hope that our friends and family had a great day! The cool thing about Facebook is that you can see all the fun pictures and read the cool stories – from engagements to baby announcements….wow life goes on!

But how are you? How am I? I hope that your pain is not as bad as mine! On a scale of 1 to 5, I am abut 3.5-4. Exhaustion/fatigue has been intense. I was rubbing my leg and it felt like needles was pushing on my skin, thank you Fibro lol! Holidays and pain, really don’t go hand in hand but the good thing is we can still have fun! We can still travel! I am very thankful that this year I was able to make the trip! I know one year I might not be able to make it :( .

One of my final contemplations for the night are the many new year resolutions. Yes it is that time of year again, we think about things we want to change and do better next year! What do I want to change or do better?

I want to be more of an advocate, living with RA and Fibro does not mean my world ends….it just means my world changes. It means that I need support such as Fibro groups (check my sidebar) or RA support groups (like http://squeakyj.com/). The days will be sooo hard, some days I cannot even get out of bed. The meds will (at least for me) kick my behind…but I still drag myself up to do something! Everyone will have a different story….their story…but the cool thing is we have each other. You can share your story and I can share my story. Through our pain we can help someone else! That is one of my new year resolutions!

Alas my contemplative brain is tired….more soon….Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad! Have a blessed night!!!!

Adjusting!

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I will have to say the word adjusting does not cover the first week being back on Arava! If you are on it or have been on it you probably know what I mean! The nausea, the bathroom issues and the major exhaustion! I also think my Lyrica is making me slightly dizzy although that is improving! I would pay money for my stomach to feel better! Gosh it does not (and has not) felt good since Tuesday!

Although my hubby and I had to go to his company’s Christmas party and it was one of those…if you did not eat anything..people would wonder. So I managed to eat a bit there…although maybe this is just me but I have tended to get cravings. I can go all day with out being hungry and then I’m like gosh I some ______ (red doritos etc.). Yes I am weird!

So you might be wondering…why complain if for about a year all you have asked for is meds!!! Yes this is true! I am 165% thankful for my medicine. I guess I am true to the saying “never happy, if you have curly hair you want straight…if you have straight you want curly.” Essentially yes I want my treatment SO BAD…mostly because I know that despite the bathroom issues/the nausea/the hair loss..it is WORTH it! I had some initial reports from my labs come back…my CRP one year after medicine is 25!!! Two years of treatment it was 3! So yes worth it!

BUT the medicine does suck!!! Anyone on it can tell you it sucks but it the trade me make! I know people who do not go on it, or go on it and realize hey no way man. You cannot fault them….either choice is a painful/tough decision…one where no matter the decision there will be pain!

And my last thought of the day was remember to look people in the eyes. Remember to LOOK at people! Maybe the person next to you is going through a similar journey! Maybe they just want someone to understand. I know I am ‘excited” (not really but yes I am) to find another squeaker/spoonie! Why?? Because we understand each other! That is soooo valuable!

Two more days and I am on vacation!! And then…a trip :) YAY!

 

What a long week!!!!

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This week has been a trying week! It seems like every night I have a huge to do list and yet nothing gets done :( . That is not a good sign, right!  I received my first doctoral classwork (picture coming). I was excited…yet it was like “OH MY GOSH, I have to study.” The concept of being a doctor sounds great….the process of becoming a doctor…is not so great!

My body is worn out today, it is not very inspiring for the semesters ahead until I get to where I can say Dr. before my name. But I do know that I can pray and believe. Most of all  I need to be listening to what God has in store for my life! The one thing  I learned while in Africa is that life is fragile. In a moment you can lose everything and everyone. Do you focus on what you can do with your hands or do you put more into the family that is surrounding you.

Lots to thinking  about tonight that is for sure! Time flies of that I am sure. If I could share some or all of what is going on in my mind…I think you would be bored! One thing that happened today though was the frustration of how disrespectful people can be to each other. When you are in a business environment, cutting people off, rudely walking away, not speaking to someone…those are all signs that YOU cannot manage your personal and professional issues. Even if you do not like some personally please remember that you cannot let it affect your professional life. It is extremely sad when that happens because while things get done it does not make the work place, very comfortable. Yes I do know that the work place does not have to be a “comfortable” or “fun” place but we do need to strive to make it livable and the least stressful it can be.

So if this is you, remember your showing your true colors…you can hide how you act for awhile and maybe only the person who you are mad at will see. But one day you will be “found out”, one day people as a whole will get sick and tired of the two sides that you like to play depending on who the person is and sadly one day you will forget the person you are around and you will show the wrong side.  Please do not let yourself go down that hole!

As a  Christian remember that your testimony is critical! Remember that you need to share God’s love no matter how you are treated…Christ suffered so much more for you! Lastly I know I have not said this in a while…please think of all of those people who are suffering with invisible illnesses. It is very very hard on us to play the part of being “ok”, “in no pain”, “happy”, “doing alright.” etc. We have to play the – get up in the morning, get ready, go to work, smile, be happy and joyous, game. Yes MANY MANY MANY days we do not feel like it…MANY MANY MANY days we want to stay at home in our bed and just suffer in silence. But we get up and we go to work, go shopping, go to whatever and we will do it by looking nice, acting great, smiling, putting on our make-up etc.

I will also say that a lot of times, those of us who do suffer with an invisible illness, we will rarely share how bad we hurt. We will rarely share our deepest pain…and you may be wondering why? Because so many people to not understand nor try to understand….so many people want to see the surface….”oh she looks great…so she must be feeling great.” And you get tired of fighting with people….you get tired of telling people…”no I look great but I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.” Etc.

You get tired of repeating over and over and over that you are sick..that you are in tremendous pain etc. So yes VERY VERY VERY few people will see the true colors of a person with an invisible disease. So pray for the close support circle of these people – the spouses, the close friends, the pastors etc. The people who see the real story..pray for them as they support those of us with invisible illnesses.

On this Christmas pray that more people have at least one day with out pain! One day….for many of us….that will be the best Christmas present in the world!

Rwanda Trip

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The trip to Rwanda, Africa was certainly life changing! Yes very much so…the trip there was tiring and the trip home was even more exhausting! But the good thing was we were able to see the absolute worst in humanity but at the same time the forgiveness that was un-imaginable. If I had not seen it for myself I probably would not have believed it! Honestlly…but I will say it is hard to share this story…hard because the pictures are hard to look at (as I’m sure you can attest to)….the stories are hard to re-tell….the memories are hard to process. But my hope is that the pieces I have shared do help change someone…do help someone think!

One big thing to consider for this Christmas season.why not spend less money on your gifts and more money on someone who needs it? Why not go through the World Help Child Sponsorship Program (http://www.worldhelp.net/cotw/sponsor/) or their water program (http://www.worldhelp.net/cotw/freegift/). Honestly, it does not have to be either of these two programs…but I do encourage you to do something for someone else this Christmas season! Think of the people around the world that do not have what you have…even as little as $30 can change a life for a lifetime.

One reason I’m urging you to make changes this year….because I have been accepted to complete my doctorate degree! You wonder..ok why is that such a huge deal??? Because I was one of those kids who had nothing.. absolutely nothing! But look where I am today…if you put in to someone you never know…you may change their life forever!