Tag Archives: monday

Home Again!!

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It is is soo nice to be home and sleep in my own bed. Although I don’t know why but for some reason I kept thinking that today was Monday or Tuesday..not Wednesday. It is amazing how a change in your routine really makes it difficult. Tomorrow thought will be my last “full” day of work for this week YAY!! And the good news is that tomorrow will be a slow day. I can sleep in late and leave work early in the afternoon. So I can sleep in and take a nap!

My goal for tomorrow is to rest and work on getting my paper written…I have to add the preliminary themes. Then I will work on getting into a few more classes this summer to see what students might tell me using my same interview questions. I definitely want to encourage credibility and rigor within my study.

That said, I am home from my last class of this semester! YAY! I have to turn in my paper by next Wednesday (so I have a week) and then I have an awards banquet on Friday. Then to work on my first study some more, I want to get two conference proposals ready before the summer begins. Yes a busy few weeks but I am hoping to enjoy some down time too.

I’m off to rest…my body is in a major flare. Too much going on I guess! Hugs and spoons! :)

 

A Restful Weekend

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How is your weekend going?? Mine week was crazy! Monday night I was at a dissertation workshop….it was stressful…scary but also very interesting. I find it much easier to do something when I know ahead a time. Yes I am a planner!!! Then Tuesday I was nervously trying to prepare for my presentation on Wednesday. Wednesday morning, I was very nervous but remembered that I had been preparing this presentation for over a month. I was as ready as I could be to teach on my chapter. Class went well and once I felt comfortable up in front of the class things went smoothly. I really wanted my cohort to have a better understanding of ethnic identity and acculturation. It is something many of us need to know about. So then Thursday flew by because it was one of those crazy days at work. I worked late into the night in my office, Molly doing her bests to stay occupied. She was a little bored of my study life :P

Friday I rested a lot, probably more than I should have but it had been such a busy week.  I did get out and enjoy a hockey game, sadly we lost, but it was still a lot of fun. Today though my plan is to write, write, write….I want to get a lot done! Great goal right! I have realize that we can plan, plan, plan but sometimes (many times) things do not work that way in life.

I was also wonderfully surprised last night by being notified I was admitted to doctoral candidacy. I almost cried…last year was soooo rough. I thought when I started working on my doctorate that I was prepared. That I could totally handle the study load…but you know (and you can read those blogs) last year was tough. Probably the toughest thing I had ever done. But now I realize it was worth it. It was worth the pain, the tears, the sleepless nights.  Why?? Because I am one step closer to being done. One step closer to saying that I successfully finished a doctorate program WHILE at the same time living with Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, and Fibromyalgia.  I’m still amazed I have kept going….but you know I also realize my strength, confidence, and determination comes first from my faith and second from my dad. I want to make my dad proud, I know he won’t see me graduate but I hope that he would still in some way be proud of my accomplishments.  First and foremost my faith though has kept me going, I do not think  I could face my day to day journey with out my faith.

Living in pain, daily torturous pain….is so hard. Goodness it gets soooo sooo sooo old! And I think the hardest part is people do not get because they cannot see it. I think my constant prayer is that more people open their eyes to see my invisible pain. It would help that is for sure!! But off I go to do more homework :) Enjoy a wonderful Easter weekend.

 

Oh Steady Day, Oh Steady Day

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Yah I was thinking “oh happy day, Oh happy day” while I was writing this but no steady comes out instead. Steady? Well I’m steadily not improving…I’m steadily learning to live with the never ending (I’m sure it will) rain!  But you know that’s ok…I enjoyed a STEADY Saturday while I watched “the West Wing” and played on my computer.

I am yet again reminded how much energy I had…and now how much I treasure any drop of energy!! If I get a burst of energy I should TREASURE it…who knows when my treasure will return!

Being sick..if nothing else it gives you time to think, write and get bored with TV! I’m working myself up to get up at 5:40a.m. on Monday (despite my overloaded crapppiness), making it to work by 7:30a.m. and then perking myself up enough to be a positive/pleasant person until 1:00p.m. and then off to my doctor’s appointment. Yes, I’m seeing an internal medicine doctor Monday afternoon..my sore throat will not go away and my cough is back (BAD!).  OHhh and classes start next week!! I’m going to be starting my second year…wow! Cannot believe I’ve survived a Bachelor’s degree, a Master’s degree and now a full year of an Ed.D! LORD! I silently battled my RA/Fibro in college (not officially diagnosed, didn’t have insurance so didn’t get tests run) and then I was a second year MA student when I finally found out what was wrong. That was after a year of trying to figure out what is going on! :( So I am amazed that I have survived! Survived and yes surprisingly I enjoyed my classes last year (minus my Statistics!)

I’m so thankful for all the check in on me! Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia…yes those are not easy to live with but one thing I realized tonight was …it is nice to know someone has your back! I have your back, you have my back! :) Night :)

 

Another day in bed paradise!!!!

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Yes another day in bed paradise! It was pouring rain outside so that made it nice to sleep….at least I did not have to drive in icky weather! :P (trying to see the positive right!). This morning I still had a low grade fever, my sore throat is better, but I’m a little concerned with how my chest is feeling. It seems like the cough might be getting worse? Not sure, could be paranoia…but I’ll be safe just in case and am staying home. Tomorrow would have been my last work day so I sadly missed a full  week! :( It stinks but one I need to rest and heal and two I hate going into work sick. No one else should catch any one of the three things I’m carrying THAT’S FOR SURE!

I’ve found some very interesting things about the flu virus! Check out my facebook page (www.facebook.com/stlraf) for the links. Seems like the flu is going on like wildfire! Hmmm that’s good to know! Also found some other good things about RA and working. One thing I’m looking forward to finding is additional information on having fibromyalgia and RA. I know a lot of us don’t have just one or the other…we have them combined and then some. I know my Fibro, for the first time today…was NOT flaring! I take that as a sign that my body is healing. My goal is to be back on Lyrica as scheduled today and then Arava maybe sometime next week. I’m going to see how I do this weekend and then test the waters. I want to get my body over the sickness but I don’t want my immune system to perk itself up too much…such a line to straddle! :P

Food is still not seeming appealing. I’m sure with the flu/sore throat/strep/cough you know that food tastes different etc. I tried applesauce last night and it tasted gross. I had a salad but it didn’t settle in my stomach. I checked the scales and since Saturday I’ve lost about 6 pounds! Not surprised I haven’t eaten more nor been too hungry. But hopefully I can find something yummy and greasy to eat! :)

I’m getting excited my goals for this weekend since I will be feeling better (YES I WILL BE) – going to re-dye (yes self-dye) my hair with my Black John Frieda foam (http://www.target.com/p/john-frieda-precision-foam-colour/-/A-13944196?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=Google_PLA_df&LNM=%7C13944196&CPNG=Health+Beauty&kpid=13944196&LID=PA&ci_src=17588969&ci_sku=13944196), and then I want to get my nails done at my favorite salon. If I can get those two things done I’ll be sooo excited for Monday. You know starting the week out all cute and refreshed. I would also like to re-stock on some makeup at my favorite store, Sephora. We will see though how my energy holds up!

Tomorrow, my goal is to hopefully be able to start reading ahead. My classes have not been uploaded so I have not yet seen my syllabi BOO!! But I figure it cannot hurt to start reading ahead. I already know which project I want to work in on my qual class so that’s good. I’m going to keep working on my quant study to see how I can combine the two. So no progress lost! I have two books to read, I figure if I can get a chapter or two read now maybe I can stay about a week ahead. That always helps me during the semester! And hoping tomorrow my classes will post :)

Off to rest some more, thanks for keeping up with me :)

Words of encouragement

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Tonight as I prepare to wind down and get myself ready for this upcoming week….I could not help but wonder…what words of encouragement would help me tonight? Since I suppose I am not alone in that boat here is what came to my mind:

- You can do this…you are not alone in this fight. I can tell from those who pass through website or post on my Facebook page. This journey is not just my journey….it is our our journey. While I am sad that there are people out there that hurt and feel more rotten than me….I am so happy (almost to tears) that you understand, that you know my pain. That I do not have to sit here and explain and re-explain. You know when I say something…yes I know..it does for me too!

-I know that I have some awesome supporters! I am blessed…there is no better encouragement than having an awesome husband who is willing to walk this journey too (some days better than others of course). A husband who will go through and open the toothpaste, the shampoo, your soda, your deodorant. A husband that will help carry you to bed when you cannot walk or get up on your own. A husband that will brush your hair when your hands and shoulders hurt so bad you cannot do it yourself. I also am blessed with amazing “friends.” I call you “friends” because you encourage me…your “likes”, you “comments”, your “texts” and your “emails.” All of those things encourage me..even if it is a one-liner!! Trust me I have some AMAZING friends in this journey who perk me up with a one liner back and forth! You understand.

-My pets…you do not realize how valuable pets are until you are home a lot. They entertain you with their perkyness and how they can play with the air. They also entertain you by how they sleep…sometimes I do not know how they get into those positions! But it is fun to watch and yes it makes me laugh! My adorable girls are so amazing! While they do not know it…they encourage me.

Lastly (and probably actually I should have put it first) is my faith! My believe that I can whisper a prayer when this journey just gets too much (daily/momentarily). And how a whoosh of peace comes over me. Strength seeps into my bones and I can write one more paragraph. I can stay up one more hour to finish a project. I can put the smile on my face and actually get somewhere…it is not my strength it is God’s strength. It reminds me of this song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emgv-VRtMEU&feature=related)

 

Waking up to music

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I do not know about you but waking up (especially on Mondays) is incredibly hard! On top of the “normal” just wanting to stay in bed, we RA’rs have an even harder time of getting up! We struggle with stiffness, swelling, and overall body pain!

Sucks, yes majorly! But the good news is having music helps! It wakes your inner core slowly and in a way that starts your day off so much better! You hurt but you learn to sing through the hurt!

Try it! I hope it helps you ease your pain!!