Wednesday seems to be the roughest day of the week, why? Well mostly because it is the third working day lol! But in all honesty, today was a rough day. I have been feeling so rotten since last Thursday and today (like every day this week) I cam home and I crashed. After getting four hours of sleep I was able to wake up and sort of have something of an evening. Sad part is that when you get up at 8p.m. that probably means you won’t be going to sleep until the wee morning hours..HURRRAY NOT!!!!
Challenging right? Sometimes God brings us challenges not to punish us but to create in us character, strength, patience etc. In the past few months I have wondered at times, “why Lord..why me?” After I sit and ponder that question I look at my life and I can say that if I was not going through the challenges that I am..I would not be as strong of a person as I am today. I have learned so much about life, the fragility of life, the blessings in life and most importantly how awesome it is to live life connected to the person who created life.
My life has not always been great, in fact I had some very rough moments especially in college but I will say this, you go through things for a reason. There is always a purpose…although some times during some of those moments it is hard to know why you are going through it. When my father died, I certainly did not know why…but then later I was able to realize that once you have gone through that type of loss you are more sensitive to others who are in that same boat. As someone who wants to be a counselor, I have learned to take everything as something you can use to serve someone else.
With graduation looming I am feeling the sadness of my degree ending but the restlessness for another project (preferably a phd. program). So pray for me as I wait ( and it is hard for me to wait) to see what the next step is, mostly because I have found out that if it is not then it doesn’t work out too well.
In 30 minutes it will be Thursday….one day close to my Friday appointment. As difficult as it is I have said to myself and to the Lord, what ever he chooses for me to battle next I am willing and ready. If he chooses that I gain more strength by fighting leukemia or a blood disorder, than so be it. Although in my heart I am praying it was a fluke and perhaps the Lord is only seeking that I be willing. I am willing because I know I will not be facing anything alone and I will not be depending on my own strength to get through the battle!