The weekend is over, yet another work week is getting ready to start! Hurray!! I do not know about you but my work calendar is booked for this week. So much going on but at the same time it is nice to be busy versus bored! 🙂
So many thoughts have gone through my brain this week and weekend. You do not realize how much of a burden it is to carry inside you a disease that is not only invisible but so painful. When people look at you and don’t see a cane, walker, wheelchair or something else that marks you are being “sick” or “disabled” their automatic thought is “oh your better.” At times the constant frustration of having to deny your are better but instead are just making it make it sincerely difficult to want to be around people at times. You yearn to be around those who care enough for you to have researched and learned your disease (s) so that those questions aren’t even asked. It is not that you dislike people but you are hurt that it seems like some of the most frustrating questions are the ones that people constantly ask. You hate the inevitable “how are you doing today” question but you really hate to have to justify that answer.
Should you say “awful but I’m still smiling”? or “great” just so people will leave it alone? But then if you say “great” then that just brings more questions and so on. It is truly a burden for all those fighting invisible illness’ to be social persons because there is a great lack of education on how to treat people who are fighting invisible illness.
How do you treat them? You realize that they are human beings just like you, you realize that they are hurting sometimes every where (so you don’t go up to them and automatically hug them or slap them on the arm..do you realize that could cause them great pain but they probably won’t tell you that). Instead of asking “how are you doing” or saying “you must be doing better”, say “wow its great to see you today, I am so happy you are here.”
Also realize the emotional burden that invisible illness have not only on the one suffering but also on the family. I can not tell you how difficult life itself is many many days. Not just for me but also for my husband who is doing his very best to support me and our marriage. It is not easy and it is especially not easy when close friends do not educate themselves on how to help! Education is critically in anything and everything.
If you are a friend or relative of someone who is suffering from an invisible illness please educate yourself! It doesn’t take long…do internet searches ( stay away from some that are merely ones opinion), read books, search for ways to be supportive and try not to constantly share your opinion about the disease.
Why does it seem that I keep repeating this? Mostly because from my perspective it would help me …and I don’t know about who ever is reading this but hopefully it will help the person in your life that is hurting so badly.
Hopefully this week I’ll be in less pain and I can type of here more, I do miss the typing therapy 🙂
Oh before I go I received my hood, gown, gap and stole for graduation! It feels so good to have them…but at the same time bittersweet!