Last few days of 24

Twenty four is coming to a close! It is hard to imagine that life has only been going on for twenty-four years! For some reason I felt that twenty-four happened a long time ago…ops! Despite feeling that 25 happened a long time ago I cannot help but sit back and think about the 24 years of my life. I remember when I first started High School back when I was only 13 (I think I officially started while still 12 but I turned 13 shortly after the year began).  At thirteen years old I remember wanting to big the big “old” age of 25. I was still living at home (in Honduras) at the time.  The un-paved streets, the sounds of Spanish coming from every where, walking up and down the mountains, and really just enjoying being in a country where the food was different and the pace was slow. I loved driving into Tegucigalpa and enjoying “city life.” I loved the fact that when I turned 13, we got electricity for the first time. I loved that we were able to put Christmas tree lights up and the whole town practically wanted to come visit. I look back now and I can astounded at how much a world can change between then and now.

Then I had a wonderful father that I probably did not appreciate as much as I could have done. Then I was working 40hrs or so a week but loving every minute of my job. I actually prefered to work than to study! Yes a 13 can work full-time in other countries and honestly I did me good. I did not have time to get into trouble but at the same time I did not feel like a child either! At that time the best thing for me was to enjoy watching Spanish cartoons and live for the days we went into Tegucigalpa because then we could watch English T.V. I remember the one trip to the United States that I loved so much. We went to spend a week at a friend’s condo in Fernandina Beach, Florida. I loved it! The sand was so white and the town was just gorgeous. We drove around a golf course for the first time that I can remember and we visit St. Augustine. Loved that memory!

Now though, life has changed! No more am I living in a mud house with no electricity and no running hot water. Now I am living in a nice apartment with hot water, electricity and CARPET! I never thought I would have that! Now I drive a car and work at a university. Now I have not only a bachelor’s degree but also a master’s degree. But now I also do not have a father because the Lord called him home.  Now I am married and have a wonderful family with my husband and two cats.  Now I am full-filling my long-term dream, touching African soil. I find it so ironic that one month from the time I turn 25…I will be flying into Africa! Coincidence huh ? 🙂

It seems like there are things I would give and take to have now and then. Independence, integrity, compassion, empathy, determination, and competency. These are words that make up the me now. My love to help people makes up me today. My heart to grow closer to my Lord and have a closer and stronger relationship with him, makes me the person I am today. But another thing that sadly makes me the person I am today….my invisible illnesses. My RA/Lupus and my Fibromyalgia, those also define me as the person I am today. No longer am I a normal person, instead I am a person who for the first time in her life spends more time in the doctor than she ever could have imagined. Today I am person that sometimes every moment hurts. I am a person who some days is so fatigued I can barely think straight, I can barely move because of pain and days I feel so alone  because no one truly understands this disease..unless of course they have it themselves.

There is a good and bad to the person I am today! I am thankful today for the friends and mentors that the Lord has blessed me with and honestly I do not think I could make it through some days without you. There are ladies at work that I treasure so much!  From the ladies who are down from my office to the ladies who used to be right by my old office. I love the emails, the calls, the lunches and the times we just spend enjoying being around each other. There are scattered women around my job that I just appreciate so much for all their support I could not truly have made it this far without them!

So yes much has changed but I am still thankful for a year  coming to a close and another year beginning. I could not have done with so many of you! I appreciate your thoughts, your comments and your encouragement. I blog not necessarily for me but mostly to show that you can have a happy/successful life even when you are battling such hard times. While many days are so hard…I can still get up and keep pushing for a better tomorrow. One step at a time, one day at a time.!

Thank you as always for listening to my sometimes rambling thoughts…you are appreciated!

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