This week has been a trying week! It seems like every night I have a huge to do list and yet nothing gets done :(. That is not a good sign, right! I received my first doctoral classwork (picture coming). I was excited…yet it was like “OH MY GOSH, I have to study.” The concept of being a doctor sounds great….the process of becoming a doctor…is not so great!
My body is worn out today, it is not very inspiring for the semesters ahead until I get to where I can say Dr. before my name. But I do know that I can pray and believe. Most of all I need to be listening to what God has in store for my life! The one thing I learned while in Africa is that life is fragile. In a moment you can lose everything and everyone. Do you focus on what you can do with your hands or do you put more into the family that is surrounding you.
Lots to thinking about tonight that is for sure! Time flies of that I am sure. If I could share some or all of what is going on in my mind…I think you would be bored! One thing that happened today though was the frustration of how disrespectful people can be to each other. When you are in a business environment, cutting people off, rudely walking away, not speaking to someone…those are all signs that YOU cannot manage your personal and professional issues. Even if you do not like some personally please remember that you cannot let it affect your professional life. It is extremely sad when that happens because while things get done it does not make the work place, very comfortable. Yes I do know that the work place does not have to be a “comfortable” or “fun” place but we do need to strive to make it livable and the least stressful it can be.
So if this is you, remember your showing your true colors…you can hide how you act for awhile and maybe only the person who you are mad at will see. But one day you will be “found out”, one day people as a whole will get sick and tired of the two sides that you like to play depending on who the person is and sadly one day you will forget the person you are around and you will show the wrong side. Please do not let yourself go down that hole!
As a Christian remember that your testimony is critical! Remember that you need to share God’s love no matter how you are treated…Christ suffered so much more for you! Lastly I know I have not said this in a while…please think of all of those people who are suffering with invisible illnesses. It is very very hard on us to play the part of being “ok”, “in no pain”, “happy”, “doing alright.” etc. We have to play the – get up in the morning, get ready, go to work, smile, be happy and joyous, game. Yes MANY MANY MANY days we do not feel like it…MANY MANY MANY days we want to stay at home in our bed and just suffer in silence. But we get up and we go to work, go shopping, go to whatever and we will do it by looking nice, acting great, smiling, putting on our make-up etc.
I will also say that a lot of times, those of us who do suffer with an invisible illness, we will rarely share how bad we hurt. We will rarely share our deepest pain…and you may be wondering why? Because so many people to not understand nor try to understand….so many people want to see the surface….”oh she looks great…so she must be feeling great.” And you get tired of fighting with people….you get tired of telling people…”no I look great but I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.” Etc.
You get tired of repeating over and over and over that you are sick..that you are in tremendous pain etc. So yes VERY VERY VERY few people will see the true colors of a person with an invisible disease. So pray for the close support circle of these people – the spouses, the close friends, the pastors etc. The people who see the real story..pray for them as they support those of us with invisible illnesses.
On this Christmas pray that more people have at least one day with out pain! One day….for many of us….that will be the best Christmas present in the world!