The new semester is almost here! Officially it kicks off tomorrow…I am nervous but excited. I can still remember dreaming about being a doctoral student and now that time is here! I cannot wait! Although in my dreams I did not dream being a part time employee, I did not dream I would be fighting Rheumatoid Arthritis/Lupus/Fibromyalgia and I certainly did not dream that my first year I would be fighting the fatigue and pain with no medication.
Last night I made the mistake of hurting so bad that I took one of my prescription pain killers. While I did take it with food, I spent the whole night in the bathroom so sick! I wanted pain relief but ended up feeling more miserable later than when I started. I am scared because I know with the stress and pressure of school I will hurt and there will be no damn holding back the fury of this disease. However, despite my fear I remain positive that this will be an awesome experience and I will learn a lot.
Some days it is hard to realize that you have strength deep down inside, tonight I do not feel like it but I know that my strength is in there somewhere. Pray for me if you can, pray for strength and pray for determination. Many days it is hard…with medication the days were hard….with out medication…I am not sure how the days will be! But I do know I have some awesome support! Thank you for all that you do for me!