Is it just me? Maybe it is? My sleep schedule is so messed up. I spend most of the day feeling sick, exhausted and brain dead and then around 8pm…I actually start becoming productive!
Today I tried so hard to get up at 8am! My goal was to spend the day doing hw….writing a paper and taking a quiz. I got up at 8am, made it to my couch and then watched about 30 minutes of my Crossing Jordan show. I decided instead that I would go back to bed and get up at 10am! I rolled over and it was 1pm! Not the plan!
But the good news is I woke up with energy! And i did get my paper written, with edits, a quiz taken, a second paper edited and submitted and started working on another chapter! Did stuff get done??! Yes! Am I annoyed at erratic sleep schedule and daily mental and physical exhaustion…..yes!!!!!
The daily pain, the swollen joints, the brain fog, mental exhaustion and fatigue combined with my physical fatigue…..these things combined plus more are our normal!!! And does it suck…..yes!!!!!
For someone who used to be such a go getter, energetic, and on top of things….now I find myself forgetting small things ( I set up automatic payments to avoid forgetting paying my bills). I find myself waking up feeling as tired when I get up as what I felt when I went to bed!
Over the past two years (like many of you!!!) I sucked up months of oral chemo (mtx) and a boatload of other autoimmune suppressant meds plus meds for everything else that went wrong with my body! Yet I am still not used to the new normal! The normal I will have to learn to live with….yes as hard as that….I have to learn to adapt my life, my studying, my living and now my sleeping!!
Frustrating huh??? Think what if you had to live like me? Like us? Strong of heart, faith and character that is who we are! You have to be!