Pain! Yes that is the “normal” word and feeling for us RA’ers/Fibro peeps. We wake up with pain, sleep with pain, do our daily chores in pain! Tonight was no different, no matter how much I wanted to have a pain free day it did not happen! But what did happen was that I did my first doctoral presentation! Was it perfect? Definitely not! Was it good? Yes I think it was! Could I improve? Most Definitely! Perfection is never reached and I am for sure a hard critic of myself! BUT for my first time I will say probably a high B/low A. I cannot ask for more!
I know many were thinking of me and that really REALLY helped me above all things! I am thankful for an awesome cohort because we support each other! Hopefully as I prepare and practice for next week’s I become more comfortable with speaking to my class and sharing what I know! That’s the cool thing, I know things that I can share! This next topic is my “hopeful” dissertation topic. It is something only I have studied and it is something that I have done research on! That will hopefully boost my confidence more 🙂
Obsession! How many of you are tied down to obsessions? One obsession of mine is to be “perfect.” Yes I am a perfectionist! And tonight I’m working on letting that go because I know I have done MY BEST! What more can I ask for than a grade earned because I did my best! So that is my new “working on” theory for this program! I do not want to earn all A’s unless I have EARNED all A’s! Will I aim for earning all A’s YES OF COURSE! But I want to earn them and I want to enjoy the process of earning them, not stressing because of a grade. Hopefully I can hold myself accountable to that one…for awhile anyways! 🙂
Tonight in significant pain…but hanging in there! Stomach does not feel good..thanks to the Arava but I’m on my couch..watching tv…and relaxing!