Painfully Resting

Today was a painfully restless day! My semester is over and while I am excited, I am still so drained! I tried to get my brain to function but that muddled brain fog did not go away.

I organized my binders and ordered my books for next semester! I tossed around in my head a few hair brained ideas and I tried to veg out on my couch.

So much to do and it seems like such little time. Today is graduation day for some eager college, masters and doctoral students. The summer class of 2012 is inaugurated today! I was a little sad and drained thinking that for me, I have a few more years to go! I hope to be the summer/winter class of 2015. Hope to be anyway!

Today I was also painfully aware of how much I missed my dad! I pictured us going out to lunch to celebrate another semester done. I pictured us laughing and enjoying the accomplishment. I pictured walking across the stage in the very same room where in 2007, he proudly watched me graduate college. I didn’t know then that he would only life a few more months.

And I think that is something we do not treasure. We do not treasure the mere concept of living day by day. Some day will be our last, but what am I doing today to leave behind a legacy! What will people remember from me? Will they remember my passion for education, my zeal for international travel and my heart to help the world? Will they remember the words I leave here or will they remember the words written in my class? So many questions like these filled my brain today! Yes emotional overload thanks to finals this week!

But one thing I do want, I do want despite my painful suffering, to be a smiling face to those I meet. Goodness knows others have far more suffering than I! I want to radiate joy, happiness, love, and peace! I want to encourage anyone and everyone I meet, for them to exceed anything I have ever done! I want them to be to heroes of tomorrow!

So yes much went through my muddled brain today! I’m thankful to change lives, I’m thankful to encourage lives! And I am thankful I can despite the overwhelming and intense pain that grips and squeezes every inch of my body! It is so hard most days to get up and walk, much less think of someone else! But if nothing else, I want that to be my legacy…what will yours be?

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