I’m sitting here and the reality has hit me…tomorrow no more will it be vegging on couch or just sitting around doing nothing. Tomorrow it is back to school…back to studying and back to fighting to live my life fighting every day against the walls of Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia.
Today I was painfully aware of how incredibly mentally draining these diseases are to live with…in fact if I had it my way…I would have stayed in bed all day. But deep down I knew it would give my invisible disease 1 and me 0 if I stayed in bed. I would let it win today and I did not want it to have a win! So I got out of bed, I got dressed, I put on my makeup and I left for Sunday school and church service.
I wanted so badly to leave after Sunday school but that little voice said to stay! And I was blessed for staying, the praise music of resting in God. The reminder that through faith comes strength…the reminder that I don’t fight alone…my faith, my God is there too. I needed that today to remember that I can fight this pain, this mental anguish every day…and I will fight!
I was absorbed today thinking about this rough semester ahead…but in my mind I am thinking of a mantra to repeat every day to myself when I get down. A focus on that end goal…to be Dr…a focus to change a life…to change the world.
Those goals and my dreams will pick me up tomorrow and hopefully every day this semester. The hope to raise awareness for my (and your) diseases! The battle to share with the world that we hurt, we struggle, we suffer BUT we live! We become someone…we can become doctors, we can become moms, we can become CEO’s and whatever else we want to be. We will fight to live another day and if (and when) the day comes that our physical bodies fail us….our brains will keep on changing. I know I can sure talk into a microphone and have it write my words!
So tonight brings a close to summer 2012, summer 2012 brought change, trials, pain, and much more. But summer 2012 hopefully will lead me to an awesome fall 2012. I have a feeling that despite the tough semester ….some pretty cool things will happen!
Stick with me and I will take you through my journey! If you suffer pain (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual) I just want to encourage you…you are not alone. We fight this fight to live…together.
Until tomorrow…let’s wake up ready to FIGHT!