That is a question I have had to ask myself many times throughout this week! I am mentally drained and physically hurting so bad! Working nearly double what I have been and of course starting classes….STRESSFUL! And we know when we are stressed our bodies go crazy. It may sound hilarious but yes even the knuckles (?) of my toes hurt! The bottom of my feet feel like someone is poking me with needles. I took that as my hint tonight so I am not up as late as I probably need to be……taking care of myself is important!
I caught myself today commiserating about my lack of insurance. Wow I’m coming up to like six months with no steady insurance, it is a weird feeling. I definitely took having insurance for granted. I went throughout college with no insurance but then I was hired at a benefit paying employer. That was so nice! I did not realize how nice until now. But then again, I am definitely not the only person in the US that does not have insurance. I wish it was not so hard for people with “pre-existing conditions” what I would give for one day getting insurance! One day getting back on meds! Oh that would be the day!
But then I realize that is a dream….a short daydream that I caught myself in many times today! The pain sometimes makes you picture sitting on a beach, drinking a margarita and baking in the sun. You have to let your mind go places when staying in this world makes you want to cry because you hurt so bad! But at least in our dreams we can do anything, be anyone, go anyplace and YES BE PAIN FREE! 🙂
I have TONS TONS TONS TONS TONS TONS TONS of reading to do this weekend! BUT praise God it is a long weekend! My goal for tonight is to rest, and get up in the morning and head to Starbucks. I’m taking my laptop, journal articles, statistics book, and my book for my theory class. YES lots to do but at least I will be sitting at a table….I don’t have a table in my tiny apartment…and I have found out that working at a table sometimes (SOMETIMES) keeps me more focused!
This semester is going to be a rough one…”too much to do” does not even begin to cut it! But I have your support, I have my faith, my prayers, and I will push through. I keep thinking how awesome it will be to walk across the stage…I need to keep that dream in my head!