Hang in there

I don’t know …maybe it is just me but this week is going to be a tough one! Major final on Wednesday and then a final paper due on Friday! AHHH!! Yes screaming at the top of my lungs…if it would solve anything lol! BUT one good thing…I made it to service today! I loved the message, very encouraging. I realize the most important thing in life staying close to the Heavenly Father. For me, my faith has become a critically important aspect to living! That said, I have realized over the past few weeks I have let spending time in prayer and reading God’s word slip. I’m sure I am not alone…we get crazy busy and those things tend to slide but you know….I hate to say it….when I am stressed or in trouble…that is when I cry out to the Lord. The truth is though…he is not a vending machine that I can go put money in and get a caffeine drink to keep me awake whenever I need it. Sometimes I think I am guilty of doing that…running to him when I need something and not dwelling or keeping that relationship close when things are fine and dandy. So that was my conviction of today, keeping my faith as a priority not as something I do whenever I have time…honestly I doubt I would ever have the time if I did not make the time!

Another positive for today!!! I finished the ROUGH ROUGH ROUGH draft of my paper!! It has been peer-reviewed twice today..it is on hold until tomorrow afternoon and then I will work on editing it a bit more. This paper counts for a lot so I want a REALLY good paper! And I also was able to be on my study group this afternoon! We spent two whole hours on statistical terms etc. Whew! Talk about a brain fry! But that is ok, just a few more days and this term is over! Def. know I will need MAJOR prayer over the summer…I take advanced statistics over a 10 week summer term!! OMG!! Ok well I have a few months before that reality comes so pray for me!

I’m off to cover 6 chapters of statistics, more or less refreshing myself on things I know! I’m taking a deep breath, breathing in and out, trusting if my God, knowing that I will do my best and the rest is in God’s mighty hands! I’m praying my FIBRO fog doesn’t hit me until Friday night (pray with me on that), I’m praying that my RA pain especially in my knees, hips, ankles and hands is held at bay until Friday night (wow a whole week…..praying!!!). God has an awesome plan for my life, he has an awesome plan for me in this doctoral program….whether this class is my first B in a LONG time, my first C in a long time or by God’s grace my FIRST A in a doc stats course EVER….HIS HANDS/HIS PLAN! And I will give God the glory for He is good.

So off to study…I will keep you posted on one TOUGH week of this semester!

Also if you could send positive thoughts for my cough and cold are STILL hanging in there! Praise God my insurance kicks in Sunday!! WOOHOO!! 🙂



Slow Week…sickness still holding on

This week has been a slow one….my cough/cold is STILLLLLLL hanging on! Yes very annoyed with it! But in the United States this week has also been Thanksgiving week…where families get together and people go shopping at crazy hours of the day (I think getting up at midnight- 5a.m. to shop = insane).  For me this week consisted of resting at home, working on homework and stressing about all that needs done this next week.

Starting Monday I have a meeting on campus, then Wednesday I take my statistics final and Saturday my final class paper is due.  Plus I have a friend’s birthday party on Friday and I’m going to my alma mater’s play off game on Saturday. So yes a crazy week is coming up. Thankfully I did make some strides homeworkwise this week – my extra credit binder/study guide was finished, a draft of my final personal assessment paper is done, and I am one page away from finishing my statistics paper. I am thankful, so thankful for prayers for my health and for finishing this semester strong.  My statistics class is one of those classes where a GREAT (like close to 80% ) of my grade will be decided with what I turn in this week….talk about pressure! Although you know one thing I did realize…I have been in class close to 13-14 weeks…..I know everything I can know about it…TRUST myself.  I also realized I need to rest, take care of myself so I can be sharp for my final on Wednesday (plus I should take advantage of a study group on Sunday).  I also reminded myself, I cannot know everything but I can believe and trust myself with what I do know!

In regards to my paper, make my paper my own, don’t copy someone else’s work….do what I think I should turn in. If I like it and I have put my 100% into it…that is all I can do. I am one of those people that I try to follow what I think I should do…..that is I look at a bunch of papers and go I need to put this, that etc….and I risk a hodgepodge paper that does not sound like me. The bottom line is this class is just one of my many classes, this degree is a triathlon to obtain…one grade is one grade…the most important thing is to apply what I have learned and show that I have learned something.  So that is what I am going to do…I am going to write my paper sharing what I have learned….I cannot expect an expert paper (as much as I would like to have an expert paper) …why??? because I am not THERE yet….I am still learning….let’s be honest this is my first statistics course! I need to pay attention to my APA, my tables, my citing and input as much statistical results as possible but I cannot expect more from myself than what I know I can give at this stage of my academic career. As my teacher put it so well…..trust myself, and remember to pace myself! Give it all I can give it of course but pace myself nonetheless.

So yes lots of thoughts have gone through my brain this week…and I have tended to mull over these thoughts versus share them with the world. I figured I would save your inboxes from my randomness. There is much more to share though – such as a NEW HOUSE, moving, etc. but that will come later. I am hoping off to bed so I can get up tomorrow to spend some time studying statistics, going to a study group and finishing my first draft of my paper.

If you can say a prayer for me this week…it will be a tough tough tough week but I am confident that God will give me strength, clarity and all that I need to be successful. I keep reminding myself I am here because HE wants me to be here, I am in this program because HE worked it out for me to be here.  I am NOT alone, I do NOT have to face this week alone! Positive thoughts and prayers! 🙂


Barbara Jackson Memory

I was sad to learn that Dr. Jackson died on Thursday afternoon, we were her last cohort selected during her life. Such an honor to carry on her legacy through the generations to come. I learned A LOT at this conference, and  I am still learning! I am learning how tough this life is going to be with RA/Lupus/Fibro….I was amazed at how much energy a conference takes!!! Seriously so much pain and now sickness!

This choice of career is rewarding, amazing, but wow gosh….someone said they would rather do a residency (MD) that go for the PhD/EdD! While I do not know how true that is (and I doubt we can compare) I was shocked!

It is so tough living with an invisible disease, from the side effects of the drugs, to the fatigue, exhaustion, pain and frustration of limitations…it is like WOW! We have  a different life! Our new normal…is tough but I am THANKFUL that for today…I can still do what I love.

Honestly, I have more than many I know! I can still walk, and go to work! I can still go to class and work in my research. I treasure those blessings because one day I might not be able to do that, and so I def. treasure these days!

I am THANKFUL for what I do have despite my RA/Lupus and Fibro! Thankful for the Affordable Care Act that is giving me hope of insurance (cards should be here any day!). I cannot wait for 12/01! Making appointments SOON! 🙂


Here is a link to learn more about Dr. Jackson (http://www.ucea.org/home/2012/11/19/honoring-the-memory-of-barbara-l-jackson.html)