There is always an up and a down in life….I have experienced that over the past three weeks. There might be one day that I feel alright to do something, so I leave my house and go out (like today it was Sunday School). But then after going out…I get body slammed back to square one. By the time I made it home after Sunday School, my throat was soooo sore! If I don’t get any better by tomorrow morning I will make a doctor’s appointment for sometime this week.
At least I made some progress with homework (an UP)!!! I have one small paper (5 pages) due and then I will have everything done for this week. So that is my one to do list for tomorrow. Then I hope to get ahead for next week, my goal is to stay ahead if possible…that way if I get tired or end up really sick I won’t be too far behind.
The ups and downs on this disease …..is very hard! It is very frustrating but yet again it is just part of living with a disease that will be part of my life until someone figures out a cure. That is not to say I don’t believe in miraculous healing (I def do) but sometimes I think we are so fast to want our burden/cross gone out of our life…that we forget to think maybe through that burden/cross we will be blessed. I know it sounds odd…you are like really…my life can be “blessed” because of my Rheumatoid Arthritis or my Fibromyalgia…have you lost your mind! And yes it is a very different way to look at things I guess..but that is my approach. I could spend days praying (which I do) for a cure/to be healed…and then I would probably be frustrated because I would expect it to happen like yesterday. I would walk around going God really why haven’t you healed me yet…I have prayed and prayed??? I can picture God looking at me going…really JJ…why don’t you try and see the GOOD, the BLESSINGS, the FAITH, the WISDOM and the COMPASSION that these diseases/this journey have grown in YOU! Because yes honestly I have grown up so much with these diseases!!! Despite the ups and downs…it seems like I keep on learning…which is a good thing.
So today…despite a down…I am happy that I can see something positive! I am happy that I know there will be another UP soon :). I am excited for my classes…it seems like being back in school is exciting and it makes me want to get back into journals etc. so I can start writing studies. I am excited to be working on my computer and reading books on qualitative design. But to prevent another DOWN, I am working hard on BALANCING. Today I did not take a nap 😦 and I am thinking that is what let to this current down.
Tip from walkingthrough.com…REST/BALANCE 🙂 It is HARD especially for someone like me but YOU HAVE TO REST AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! This I say to myself ….over and over and over and over again! 🙂
Signing off..I hope my ramblings are coherent…I’m ready for my nap..wait my bed 🙂