You know you would think after nearly 10 straight years of post-secondary education (first semester of college was Fall 2003) that I would be getting tired of the first day of the semester. At least I thought I would be tired…goodness knows, I’m setting myself up for more sleepless nights..more papers and homework…and yes the lovely stress. But still, part of me gets rejuvenated seeing my syllabus, knowing what needs done this semester, and mentally I prepare myself to get it done so I can have one more semester behind me.
This summer semester (my second to last summer semester EVER…unless I pursue another EdD or PhD) I am taking multivariate statistics and my educational leadership internship. I will be doing an advanced statistics projects (WOOHOO) and learning several advanced statistical analysis. I have to work on learning how to interpret as well as run the sets in SPSS. Then for my internship project, I am going to be working one-on-one with a professor to learn the in and outs about the life of being a professor. I think it will be very eye-opening as well help me be more prepared for the getting a tenure position after graduation.
I made it through today focused on my homeowork and classes….it was not the easiest day but I am happy I was able to focus on things. I find myself glancing at the phone…the vet should be calling tomorrow or Monday letting us know that Molly’s remains are ready for me to pick up. I found a spot for her in my office…at least until I know place to spread her ashes. I really hope they took molds of all her paws if they could…but I will be happy with what I can get. It still hurts so bad to come home to a quiet house….I miss her bubbly jumping around me when I get home and I really miss our cuddle time at night.
Time…time heals! Grief is something you feel for any loss and yet the only way to heal…is time. To hurt, to cry and to mourn and then to pick up and move forward. That is what I keep telling myself. And I’m telling myself that especially because of my Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus and Fibromyalgia I have to be even more careful to rest (as much as possible) and make some me time. I will be tempted to work, work, work but I need to make sure to take my nap, rest and get sleep. Will I heal??? Yes, the grief and the pain will not keep me down…I will still finish. But in order to do that I have to remember…ME is important.
But I know I am not alone, there are many out there who have messaged me they are handling/dealing with their own grief. The loss of their spouse, fiancee, daughter, sister, nephew, mother, grandparents, and like me a loved furry child. I pray that you all find a little more peace tonight as we go through this grief journey together. For those of you like me…also battling an invisible illness..I pray that you grief, you balance your life…and that physical and emotional pain is a little less tomorrow.
Hugs! #spoons #spoonie #squeakers