One of those days

The cool thing about being in class is sometimes you never know what you are going to expect. When I went to class on Wednesday, I was pleasantly surprised. Not at how awesome my professor is but how great it felt to be learning the mechanics behind statitstics. My professor put it a good way. I am not there to be a statistician, but I am there to learn the mechanics and be able to read the outputs.

Doable, def. will take studying on my part but I think this semester will be doable. I spent some time today resting and then working on homework. I am really enjoying having scheduled office hours (e.g., working in my office) I think it is helping me gain some better writing skills as well as having more time dedicated to just getting homework done.

So far the events of the past few weeks have caused far more pain. I think that is related to stress. If I have learned nothing else….stress and Fibro/Rheumatoid Arthritis….they are not friends! Nothing new I know..but it is amazing how quickly I forget that until the next stressful event occurs! This is the first time (I doubt the last) that I am grieving while batting RA/Lupus/Fibro. And it is interesting the roller coaster of grief…on the roller coaster of pain. Now in the real world… I don’t do roller coasters…but that seems like an adequate word for describing what I feel ( or have been feeling) these past few days.

But you know, I think I have also found that I am a strong person. I have found that I can get up in the morning when I feel like doing nothing more than sleeping. I have found I can (for the most part) put a smile on my face and go through out my day. Yes, I realize I might not be as happy or bubbly but I’m present and attempt to be happy/smiley. That takes strength. It takes strength to get up and go through out the day when that is the last thing you want to do. I am a strong determined person.

I have dreams and goals, and despite the pain, the sacrifice of no sleep, I will finish this dream and hope to start a new dream. The power of dreams and goals! I did not realize how important those were…until now. If you have no dreams….find some! If you have no goals…find some! That will help you feel strong…when no matter what..you strive toward your dreams!

 

5 thoughts on “One of those days

  1. We all need to have goals in life…and they will be different for each of us. But we need something to look forward to, something that prompts us to climb out of bed every morning. I’m still shaking my head that statistics is your goal (haha)…I remember my stats class from my college days…one of my least favorite classes of all time!! Good for you for facing it with a positive attitude!

      • Today wasn’t a particularly good day, but I was off work so I was able to nap…that helped a bit. I’ve worked entirely too much this week as we had two other managers on vacation…someone had to take up the slack…might as well be me, right?

        I’ll finally get to see the rheumatologist for the first time in less than three weeks…don’t know whether I should be excited or scared!

      • Oh wow that is good! You know I was both….I was excited to see a specialist to help with my RA but scared too. Because I am seronegative she has me coded as having Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disorder. But she said I have RA and Lupus but she is not sure how much of either. BUT she put me right on meds and I have improved since seeing her. Now the first visit I had a lot of labs…but that is normal. She needed to know what she was starting with. I also brought my husband. I would bring someone with you so you can have that emotional support and so they can help you ask/get answers to your questions.

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