And the day goes

Do you ever sit in the afternoon and realize that …wow your day is almost over! I find it ironic to think about how about 12hrs ago (8ish in the a.m.) I was at work. The day flew by! It is sooo interesting to me how some days fly by and other days drag. Today was a day that flew by….from working on things up until a meeting, having a meeting, and then continuing to work on things. My desk is finally cleared but by the time I got home….it is like wow…the day is almost over!

I know this sounds bad but I am praying my way through this summer semester. Multivariate statistics is a beast. I’m praying my way through the studying and praying my way through understanding it enough to be successful. Don’t get me wrong, I love it. But at the same time…it is intense. I am looking forward to the end of the summer. To the point where I can say I understand MANOVA‘s or discriminate analysis! 🙂 One day right! 😛

My cold has improved a little bit!! YAY! Still sniffling, still major headache, and still very tired but at least I made it through a good days work!! That’s a major positive!! Although I realize even more today…those of us who work battling invisible illnesses…have a hard burden to carry. I realized today that yes some days in the past month I have let my pain/some irritation show at work. I dislike that about myself…at the same time it is done and I cannot change it. I made a promise to myself that in the future I will do my very very very best to remain positive/upbeat no matter how I feel. Is that incredibly hard??? YES! But you know those of us in the professional workforce…especially in this economy…we cannot afford bad days. We cannot afford to let our guard down sometimes. Not saying that we have to be perfect (because we won’t) but I realize that sometimes it is much easier to let the pain come into our work place than to work hard so that no one sees that side at work.  Confusing? Maybe! Hard to get…you know I’m struggling with this too!

One of my biggest hopes is that anyone who knows me in the working world will see a smiley, happy, outgoing, positive person. Does it mean that does not happen…no! But maybe once or twice that slipped and it impacted others I am around. And you know, influencing others is something I never want to do (unless it is for good). When I influence others to make them hesitate to be around me or hesitate to share their true feelings with me….that is hurtful. Maybe that has happened to you? I’m not sure…but I realize today (as I think about all things related to work) that communication is crucial. It is critically important to be able to say “I’ sorry, I messed up…let’s move on.” It takes continuous thinking about what the day brings…it takes forcing yourself to be positive. As friends would say “leave everything at the door but a smile.” Gosh it sounds soooo easy right!!!

For those of us working and struggling with RA/Lupus/Fibro and all things in between. I just want you to know that I know this journey is incredibly hard. It is no where near easy. And honestly some days I wish I could be nominated and win an Academy Award for my performance. Is it sad that I have to perform…maybe…but in the professional world there are many expectations. It is good for me to see these expectations now so I can learn/adapt/and do better in the future.

Don’t you love the ideas that pop into my head! I hope they are helpful to someone. I am in that course of life where I am a student, a worker, and a wife.  Balancing all these hats is certainly not easy …especially when RA/Lupus/Fibro are often SOOOOO MISUNDERSTOOD!

My encouragement to you…if you are working/studying/living life…reach out to those who are in your boat. And don’t give up! Every day will have its own things! Don’t get down..stay positive! Live life to the best that you can. If you get knocked down…get back up…don’t let one bad day ruin a lifetime of good days!


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