New passion

I am home from class!!!! For me it seems like my week starts on Thursday! I know I have 6 more days until an assignment is due or until I sit in class. Don’t get me wrong I love class…but it is physically draining to sit there for three hours (or six depending on the semester), plus drive about an hour each way. And that is after I work until 2p.m. Thursdays I am exhausted but I also refueled.

Does it make sense that going to class fuels a fire inside to spend time in my office. To learn, work on a research project, and home for the a better future. I love learning! Which brings me to the question…. Can you develop a new passions??? As I was sitting in my statistics class tonight I learned how I could run a MANOVA! I have read this before in journals….but never before did I realize the things you can do with analysis using statistics. I am truly enjoying how to become a researcher.

Although now the question is…..what do I do now? Where do I go? Teach at a tier 2? Research at a tier 1…or balance? The culture at each university is different….where do I want to go? Where is my new place?

So many questions to consider….although the biggest question for me is….how long will I have a career??? How long before I cannot work anymore? How will I do working 40-60hrs a week? How will I do lecturing and researching?

Nights like tonight where everything aches, my body feels drained….yet my mind is excited to run more analysis. Excited to work on more conference stuff, and excited to get my paper into an article format! Yes, I find it very challenging but fun. One day, if I get a full time professor position…I will be running studies and writing articles. One day….we shall see right!

Tonight, I am thankful I’m seeing cool things in my research! I’m thankful I’m arrived home safe to a loving hubby. So many positives to think about….despite the pain. I won’t lie…tonight my pain is about 8.5/10. Not the worst pain but certainly not a limit where I know sleep is going to come. Another late night…but that is alright! 🙂 I’m still blessed!

And part of that blessing is memories! I looked at pictures today of my little girl. I miss her so much! She was so much more than our little jack Russell. She was an angel, she made us smile, her little bundle of energy and joy brought many smiles. Is it bad that I want justice for her. I want those responsible to be known. I want people to think more than twice before they take their furry children to that vet I knew and trusted for 4 years. I think part of healing is recognizing that I can have my life, they (the vets office) doesn’t have to me in my future. And I can promise you they will not be! They caused far too much pain. On the positive, I am researching pet sitters. Any suggestions on that? I have actually never used a sitter but I am more than open to it now, since I’m not sure I will ever trust boarding again. Anyone have experience with pet friendly hotels? I know the Marriott chain has many “pet friendly” hotels. I never thought of bringing our furry kids with us… I’m more than open to the idea. Molly was in our lives for such a short time, but she for sure left a lasting impact.

Tonight, I hope your pain is easing. I pray that like me, you have a passion for something. Be that your family, your work, your education, or a hobby! Rest easy tonight! 🙂 many spoons to you!

2 thoughts on “New passion

  1. I’m so happy that you’re feeling so much enthusiasm for your studies. I don’t think that’s odd at all…I always enjoyed learning new things and when you see how you can utilize them in your life it sets off a spark!

    I haven’t had a lot of experience taking my cats on trips…I don’t usually go anywhere for an extended period of time, just overnight or two nights at the most. Cats are okay left home alone for that short amount of time. My oldest cat doesn’t really like to be around strangers, so she’s better off staying at home. And now I have the kitten (well, okay, over a year old isn’t technically a kitten any more, but I’m afraid she’ll always be the kitten) to keep her company. I would definitely see about having someone stop in and check on them if I planned to be gone any longer…I’m lucky that I have a couple of neighbors who are animal lovers so they’d help out if I needed them to. Like you, I’d never return to that particular vet.

    I hope you’re able to get some sleep tonight! I’m just about ready to try…

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