First day of the semester has come and gone! Yesterday was intense…I woke up at 6a.m., got ready, and headed to work. It had to be one of those days that was crazy insane..where you look at the clock one moment and the next minute..hours have flown by! Well in a sense that is good, I much prefer those days over the days where you are just watching the clock every so slowly drag down! I would much rather be busy but not so much on a day where I know I have to push myself to keep it together until late at night.
When I headed to campus, it was nice to have the 30-45 minute drive up the interstate, I use those moments to collect my thoughts, rest, think, pray, and talk myself into focusing for the next few hours. I like to get to campus about an hour before class..this allows me time to meet with my chair, meet with my classmates regarding coursework issues, and then of course to de-compress from work and get my thinking cap on for class.
Over the summer, I was used to getting out of class around 7:10p.m. that made the drive home pretty nice because for the most part it was day light. Now I am getting out of class about 9:50p.m. (mind you class starts about 4:30p.m.). That means I am darn tired from a busy work day..and six hours of lecture (two different classes!). Surprisingly I was able to keep it together, and push through the two classes. About 9:00p.m. is when I started to feel tired…but I was able to keep going until 9:50 and then I got straight in the car to head home.
The drive home is again my de-compress time..I am SOOO THANKFUL that I am usually wired from class! This energy (adrenaline) keeps me awake (for the most part) until I am mostly home. Typically about 10 minutes from home I start to feel the day hit me…but then I am able to make it into my garage before my day really reaches up and smacks me in the face. I try my hardest to get into the shower right away…hoping the hot water will help sooth my aching/flaring joints. It helped some by the flare really came on close to midnight…of course making it soo hard to sleep!
Today was so rough…I felt like a ton of bricks smacked me in the face when I woke up this morning…I could not believe I had to get up…focus…work until 4:30p.m. today! Today was in some ways much harder than yesterday..every bit of my body was in serious pain..from my toes to the top of my head. Every movement sent shooting pain up and down my body..not to mention I was so exhausted. My medicine for fatigue was denied by my insurance…apparently they are fighting any medicine to help the fatigue..as apparently there isn’t a medicine out there FDA approved for fatigue. My rheumy is checking to see what else she can do…I’ve started taking Vitamin B, Five Hour energy, tea, and soda to help keep me awake. I know it is sad..this morning I woke up and before I could even get out the door I had two soda’s! Horrible I know but I could barely see straight I was so tired. Don’t worry I am drinking A LOT of water too to help keep me hydrated! And I’m making sure every night I get about a 2-3hr nap! I know it means I am probably up later than my hubby…but I am so exhausted when I come home from work…a nap is a must!
The good news…this is my last fall semester of classes (yes you know right…I’ve said it a zilion times). That means that this time next semester…I won’t need to drive up to campus EVERY week! I will be writing my dissertation etc…..YAY! 🙂
Gosh I’m working though to keep my head up! It was a hard today…trust me I had a good cry session. So much pain…so much exhaustion and it just seemed like too much! But after my good cry session I was able to take a nap, pull it together. Fibromyalgia, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and Lupus are NOT easy to live with…no matter what you do in life! It is not easy…but I’m thankful that today I made it through one more day to finishing this degree. I made it through the day with a smile. I think I should be on a nomination list for an Oscar performance most days (you could probably say the same). I hate sometimes plastering the fake smile but you know..most people don’t want to hear about the truth of our life journey. The few that do are true gems! Hang in there…tomorrow will hopefully be a less painful day! #spoonies, #squeakers, #wecandothis