Hang in there

As I sit here tonight..thinking that wow I have class tomorrow night…I had to come and say “DON’T GIVE UP!” Have I thought about giving up these past few weeks/months! Oh gosh yes!! The sound of sleeping every night…instead of doing homework…sounds like heaven! It would hit all those things I am reading I should be doing….that is resting, reducing stress, and increasing my sleep! All of those things are almost non-existent when I am doing a doctoral program. That said….we can still do this! One day at a time…baby steps, small goals…and just reminding ourselves..it will be worth it!

I have heard from other students battling a range of invisible illness such as Rheumatoid Arthritis, Chronic Fatigue, Lupus, and Fibromyalgia..and others I cannot even spell! While the symptoms might be similar or different…the bottom line is we have some major things on our plates PLUS homework assignments/paper writing/conference going etc. It can be extremely overwhelming! For me what is “tentatively” working is a schedule.

I come home from work, get changed/shower, and then tidy up the house a bit and organize what homework assignments I am going to focus on that afternoon/evening. Then I go and take a nap, I have a few alarms set so I don’t sleep all night! Then I rest, sometimes (many times) I don’t end up sleeping but the rest/vegging out is good for me. Then I get up, have dinner with my hubby, and then get to the homework. I have decided that this semester the latest I will be up working on homework is 1:00a.m. This “bedtime” stimulates me a bit to work steadily on homework and hopefully a “scheduled” sleep time might help me actually sleep better.

I am also trying to drink a lot more water, although I won’t lie thanks to the fatigue I have been making those 5hr energy drinks, carmel fraps, and soda’s my friends. I don’t recommend that and I hope that I can start weaning my soda intake and just drink more water.  I am really really fighting major fatigue..not sure why other than maybe the Imuran still hasn’t started to hit the RA/Lupus like it should and that is probably irritating the Fibro. Or maybe the Fibro is just being a pain. Either way, the fatigue has been horrible!

As I have mentioned in past posts, I really hate to be on Predisone…I hate how it makes me feel and I hate what it does to my skin. However, today after several conversations with my rheumy, she decided that maybe a 10 week dose of Predisone might be what I need to survive this semester. Her reasoning, the fatigue is triggered by RA/Lupus not being adequately controlled “yet” by the Imuran. My Imuran dose was raised but it will take time to actually start working, her thinking is this Presidone tx will help me get to when the Imuran is working full force. Also, the Predisone has a tendency to keep people awake…taking it early in the morning…that might be one thing to keep me going right now…at least until some of the fatigue fades away with the proper Imuran dose.  We will see, I start my 10mg. a day for two week tomorrow, then every two weeks I taper down until no more. Let’s see how it works!

I’m off to read a few more pages of my book! I submitted my three , two page papers tonight! I also was able to read up a bit on the systematic lit review I hope to start this semester and I read an article for my Curriculum class. I’m getting back in the hang of school….slowly but surely!

Say a prayer for me tomorrow, I have a long day (work from 7:30/8:00 to 2:30/3:00, a 30/40 minute drive to campus, class from 4:30-10:00p.m., and then an 1hr drive home). Going to be rough but through prayers, and encouragement I will get through it! One day soon (like next year) I will look back and go wow I did it! That is my next goal…to finish all my coursework…then dissertation…then done!

YAY! 🙂


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