Have you had those days where the small things make you soooo frustrated?? Little things like not being able to do the buttons on your shirt, or the clasps on your pants. Or what about opening the peanut butter jar…..opening your soda bottle….or turn on a faucet. It gets frustrating doesn’t it when you cannot do some of the most simple things. I will say I have also learned that you can be frustrated…it is a process. You have to work through your frustration and learn to adapt to how you can get it done. Maybe a different type of faucet that you do not have to turn or maybe getting some aids to open that peanut butter jar. But it is a process..because at first you do not want to have the help. It might make you feel less of a person….less of a wife…less of a mother….less of someone who on the outside (LOOKS) like you are fine….LOOKS like you should have no problem opening that door, opening that jar of peanut butter, or zipper of your dress. It takes you working through those emotional feelings too because it is not all physical pain…it is emotional pain when your hair is falling out and/or thinning (thanks to your meds), your face is all swollen from your steroid use, and you barely eat because of nausea but you gain weight too (thanks meds!). So many things that you cannot SHOW and people cannot SEE….but that does not mean that you do not hurt and that does not mean that you have to keep the hurt inside.
There are healthy ways to work through the process…I will be the first to admit though sometimes I go for the unhealthy ways like chocolate…crying….anger….aggravation..etc. But I am working on gaining health ways such as yoga….better eating….less soda…etc.! Work in progress (as I have a back of M&M’s by my computer! 🙂 I definitely encourage finding other who understand you! The best thing I ever did was start my facebook page (www.facebook.com/stlralf) It has opened a door for me to find some amazing people who are doing great things in life….even with their RA/Lupus/Fibro etc. So find those people who TRULY LISTEN and not those people who are just there to complain or criticize you. Find people who encourage your and want to help make your day better.
On that note….tomorrow starts the first day of the last spring semester in my doctoral program. That is in regards to completing my courses. I hope that this time next year…I am only months from graduation! Wouldn’t that be awesome! At least I know I am closer to graduation this year than I was last year 🙂 That alone is encouraging.
Off to do more reading of dissertations as I sift for articles 🙂