Sometimes

Whew!! Sometimes the weeks are crazy…I always forget how crazy April is and how exhausted I feel. Not only do I stay busy during the working hours but I am also focused on writing my final paper!!! and studying for my final exam. Hard to believe….two more classes and the Spring term is over! It is also exciting thinking that a year from now I could very well be getting ready to graduate! 🙂

I am focused on finishing a major paper this weekend, studying for my exam this week, finishing up my third class, and working on my comprehensive exams. So much to do but it is exciting that I am getting there!

I spent this week visiting my new PCP…she has me set up to see a cardiologist (she heard a heart murmur) and a new rheumatologist. The changes in my insurance..I have to get all new doctors. I hate starting with a new person….but I’m hopeful that all will go smoothly!

We also added to our family this week! Leia has been really sick lately…the ER vet thought it was something immune related so she is on medicine. One thing to help her was to not feel so alone during those times we are gone. So we went through with getting her a brother! We adopted a 2 year old Siberian Husky/Border Collie mix (pictures coming). He is so sweet…very docile and they are already bonding. So far he his doing very well in the house….and we are getting him on a schedule for going outside. When we leave…the T.V. is on and him and Leia are in their kennels. So far so good!

I always wonder sometimes about the stories for our four furry kids We have adopted each of them…Precious was abandoned at the apartment complex we lived at, Pepper was on the side of the road, Leia was adopted from a rescue group, and now Bruce was adopted from a the shelter. They are definitely all spoiled!!!

Back to working on my paper! #staystrong!

Rainy Weekend

I love the weekends….except the rainy weekends! Those are rough mostly because as it probably does for you….Fibro and rain are NOT friends!! 😦 But minus that this weekend has been good. I have done a lot of thinking and of course homework. I am in a situation that I am not really to happy with being in. It is a situation that has been bothering me for a few weeks now but a situation that I am going to have to be in for a little while longer. A few weeks ago I posted a bit about it but I have done even more thinking about it this week.  You know I wish sometimes I could go back to the times when I was a kid and I could just be oblivious to how some people treat you. As a kid sometimes you don’t think it means any more than what you saw on the surface. Then as an adult you realize….hmmm maybe there is more to it…leading you to feel a twinge of hurt when people mis-treat you. Sometimes you can just not see that person ever again (wouldn’t that be nice) but other times….you might see the person (or persons) more than once and sometimes on a regular basis. For me that is the case! That said, one thing I realized this past weekend was how awesome it is to have “balance and boundaries.” Boundaries are crucial for increased mental health, and balance combined with boundaries really (at least in my opinion) help make things easier. 

I’m working on developing boundaries and balance (as always right!) and working to maintain a positive attitude. Sometimes the best way to counteract the negatives….is to be positive! When you can say….”gosh I’m so frustrated…but I’m still going to smile.” Or sometimes you hear things that hurt you…but you say “I will smile, I will be nice, I will think good happy thoughts.” Doesn’t mean it is all easy..but it does mean that you never forget that your happiness…your personal happiness is paramount.

As I listen to the rain…. I know deep down that I want to be happy…I know I want my happiness to be every day…not just on the weekend. I want to smile and think that it is ok….I have not gotten there yet on MANY levels. I have not gotten there in my education, I have not gotten there at my job….and yes do I want to jump off the ledge and spread my wings to fly….I still have a bit more time on my ledge. So I need to use that time to listen, to watch, and to gain more insight that will be valuable to me in many ways as I get ready to spread my wings (hopefully in the months to come!). 

I hope that your pain has eased…and that my daily random thoughts helps someone out there in some way 🙂

Weekend

The weekend is here! Well almost….one more busy day and then the weekend will begin. Needless to say there will be much to do…I have a final paper to work on…and one last chapter in law to read. The positive…only a few more weeks and the semester is OVER! YAY!! 🙂 But it will be a busy few weeks that’s for sure.  I’m working on getting on a writing schedule again, I had a good schedule set over the summer but then I slowed down a bit last semester and even more this semester. The homework has been more but now I need to get back into it.

I got my comprehensive questions! Needless to say my office if covered in papers! I’m working on getting organized to write my comp question and all that comes with that project! Stressful!! Then I’m working on my qualitative article, I completed my fourth interview…I will say student’s stories are awesome! They have such amazing stories…I really cannot wait to see what I find when I have more time to go more in depth with the articles.

Over the week…surprisingly my pain has not increased as much as I expected post trip. I will say the Accutane has made me feel incredibly ill, it feels like non-stop flu with an added nausea/stomach pain. And of course the dry chapped lips…misery right there! But at least now I am working on clearing up my face..and hopefully that will be one less thing that will hurt!

Off to work 🙂 Stay strong, stay focused, and don’t let anyone tell you there is something you cannot do in life! If you want it..work for it. Don’t ever think that just because of these crappy diseases that life stops…it might feel like it….but you know it doesn’t end! #fightforyourfuture

Have you

Have you ever had those experiences in life that you dwell on? Those experiences that really, no matter how hard you try, you cannot seem to get off your mind?

My personality is such that things that bother me….sometimes I mull on what has bothered me for a few days. Then I anxiously ponder what will happen when that next encounter might occur, essentially the what ifs of the future encounter.

I had something happen that seems to occur more often then I would like. The outcome didn’t go well, at least not the way I would have hoped. So I caught myself doing the usual (mulling it over and planning the what it game).

I realized a few things after thinking about the encounter….first I need to work on my boundaries. I’m a caring person but that doesn’t mean I deserve to be walked over or disrespected. In fact, no one does. Always respect the persons around you! I also realized the value of using all my experiences and adding them to my book of life. Does everything in life happen as I want? No? Does it for anyone? Will things happen, will people be mean, will people be rude or disrespectful? Yes!!! But that doesn’t mean I should give others power over me!!

For me prayer brings much peace and so tonight I spent various moments of prayers over this encounter. Through my prayers and contemplations I had these moments of wow, yes! Will the days of letting someone cross boundaries will me stop all of a sudden…no but I definitely gained much peace!

Isn’t life and learning great? 🙂 The things I learned walking the streets of Philly! 🙂

I head home tomorrow; I have learned many things (as you can tell!). I’ve rested as I have needed and hopefully I will be able to get home safe and sound and hit the ground running on Monday. I do know this fact, I will be smiling, my head will be high, my resolve strong as ever! And I will say, I am definitely so thankful for my prayers and peace!

Wow so much!

There is so much to catch up on! My Monday of this week started sooooo chaotically! My little Frenchie ended up in the Emergency room :(. Poor thing was not happy. The emergency room vet thought she might have an auto immune issue. We were able to get her to our vet on Tuesday and we had a full autoimmune panel run.

While all of this was going on I was packing for Philadelphia! I am sitting in the middle of the massive Philadelphia Convention Center! It is huge! It covers several blocks and then some! This city is pretty cool! The first day I went on a historic Philadelphia tour. I saw some of the famous places here including the Liberty Bell. I love seeing places for myself that I have only read about in texts. Sooo cool! Philly is a beautiful place, the river on one side and the ocean on the other! Perfect New England place!

I’ve gone to many sessions, I think my favorite was on the globalization in Higher Education, too often we forget we need to include an international perspective into how we think and with what we do. It is interesting to see tons ( and I do mean tons) of people attending and sharing their knowledge and research. Last year this conference had an attendance of 22,000 (amazing!) people! I’m sure this year they had that or more!

While here I did get Leia’s test results, the vet said he didn’t see anything on her antibody/ANA tests so for now he wants to try medication to help with her separation anxiety and see what that does for her. When we adopted her she had major separation anxiety, she does better now but she still has her moments.

Ahhh my body is tired, the pain has been ever present but I’ve been making sure to rest and not over stress my body. I don’t want to make myself any more sick or tired than usual. I’ve been thankful I had the vacation time to come up here for the conference, great learning!

Off to a session!