I love the weekends….except the rainy weekends! Those are rough mostly because as it probably does for you….Fibro and rain are NOT friends!! 😦 But minus that this weekend has been good. I have done a lot of thinking and of course homework. I am in a situation that I am not really to happy with being in. It is a situation that has been bothering me for a few weeks now but a situation that I am going to have to be in for a little while longer. A few weeks ago I posted a bit about it but I have done even more thinking about it this week. You know I wish sometimes I could go back to the times when I was a kid and I could just be oblivious to how some people treat you. As a kid sometimes you don’t think it means any more than what you saw on the surface. Then as an adult you realize….hmmm maybe there is more to it…leading you to feel a twinge of hurt when people mis-treat you. Sometimes you can just not see that person ever again (wouldn’t that be nice) but other times….you might see the person (or persons) more than once and sometimes on a regular basis. For me that is the case! That said, one thing I realized this past weekend was how awesome it is to have “balance and boundaries.” Boundaries are crucial for increased mental health, and balance combined with boundaries really (at least in my opinion) help make things easier.
I’m working on developing boundaries and balance (as always right!) and working to maintain a positive attitude. Sometimes the best way to counteract the negatives….is to be positive! When you can say….”gosh I’m so frustrated…but I’m still going to smile.” Or sometimes you hear things that hurt you…but you say “I will smile, I will be nice, I will think good happy thoughts.” Doesn’t mean it is all easy..but it does mean that you never forget that your happiness…your personal happiness is paramount.
As I listen to the rain…. I know deep down that I want to be happy…I know I want my happiness to be every day…not just on the weekend. I want to smile and think that it is ok….I have not gotten there yet on MANY levels. I have not gotten there in my education, I have not gotten there at my job….and yes do I want to jump off the ledge and spread my wings to fly….I still have a bit more time on my ledge. So I need to use that time to listen, to watch, and to gain more insight that will be valuable to me in many ways as I get ready to spread my wings (hopefully in the months to come!).
I hope that your pain has eased…and that my daily random thoughts helps someone out there in some way 🙂