The changes

You know  are always aware of our bodies and the changes. Today I saw my rheumy…and we finally decided that I have yet another friend – Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This friend on top of my current friends – Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Fibromyalgia, and Sgogrens. A nice list seems to be forming. I appreciated how Dr. T took the time to not just talk to me as a patient but as a researcher. We discussed journal articles on CFS (granted I need to do more on my own) and current treatments. Interestingly there isn’t much I can do for it, but learn to balance and things of that nature. It was an answer but not necessarily one that brought peace.

I also walked out with blue handicap tags. I have had red tags for like 4 years and while finally get blue tags is a relief (no more going every six months to the courthouse!) I was sad! I’m not ready but I guess my body is, and less waking and dealing with tags is a way to lessen some loss of energy.

Other than that day, I was also faced with the other evil enemy of my diseases – infertility. I have seen so many friends announce their awesome news of an impending new one on the way. And it is so heartbreaking to know that will never be my news (minus immaculate conception/miracle). I try my hardest to be happy for them, but deep down it hurts too. Another battle to fight in my journey of life! 

And my life journey continues to show me that I just need to get up! And keep fighting…no matter than pain, fatigue, or heartbreak

xo J

4 thoughts on “The changes

  1. I too am infertile. Infertility Queens unite!!! I joke, but it is nice to know there are other people out there feeling pangs of sadness when all their friends are announcing pregnancies and you’re diagnosed with another stupid disease.

    1. I am so sorry to know someone else out there knows my pain too! You are right we got to hang in there together! It hurts so bad and still shedding many tears. I really appreciate your hug tonight, just knowing someone else out in the universe knows this pain….I hate you too….but I feel a slight less painful breath knowing I’m not alone in my boat

  2. So sorry to hear you have CFS, but I suppose knowing it is there is the first step to treating it. Even though all you might be able to do is decrease the physical stress on your body. The handicap tags will be a benefit, though I can understand your not wishing to cross that line. Sending you good thoughts.

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