It’s been

It’s been a week since graduation! The last step finishing a 12 year dream and opening the door to the next dream. There are so many things going on but I will say I’m happy for one thing…and that is my faith. Someone asked me how in the world I’ve kept going through all my education and work….despite having so many health issues (that seem to continue to grow). And my response to her was my faith. My faith is this “God has a plan, that plan may not be anything close to what I expected (so far that has been the case) but that doesn’t matter..he never stops being in control.” I trust that the doors that open for me, will be the doors that God has in store for me.

I look back on the past decade of my life and I see the paths that I have chosen ( and where those ended up) and the paths of where God has led me. 10/10 times..the paths where God leads me…those paths always turn out better. Do those paths always make sense….hardly ever. Do those paths always bring an easy time of things….usually not. Usually those paths are the tough paths, the paths of tears/anger/frustration/etc. BUT when I look back at those paths, those paths are the paths that have truly molded my strength, determination, fighting spirit, motivation, and empathy. So if I had not gone through those paths, some of the best things about me ….wouldn’t have happened. Funny how that goes right!

I’ve spent the past 24hrs in such physical suffering that there are truly no words to explain it. Having an allergy to pain medication means when the pain comes, the pain comes. There is not much I can do about but push through, the night was one of the most miserable nights I’ve had in a long time. The pain was nauseating it was so bad, mostly I blame the darn weather! 😛 Through night like last night, I find myself grateful for the sun shine. I’m still in bed, I’m still hurting terribly but I am grateful that it is sunny because that helps in a small way. Suffering in the silence and quiet of night…makes the world seem so much lonlier. I hope that if you were suffering like me last night, that you didn’t feel as lonely as I did.

I don’t understand why I ( and many more like me) have to have bodies that attack every joint and muscle that we have…because let me tell you that pain is worse than any words can describe. I def. hope that this pain eases soon, I need to get some rest before the work week begins. Off to rest, thanks again everyone for all your comments, posts, and messages! You def. make me smile!

P.s. HAPPINESS triggers — anticipate JOY/HAPPINESS and SMILE! Smile when you hurt, smile when you want to cry, smile when the world feels like it is falling apart. And whisper “Lord find me.” Those three things have helped me this week!

XO J

3 thoughts on “It’s been

  1. I’m so sorry you had and are having a pain filled night/day. So hard for you to plan anything when you don’t know if your body will cooperate. Not to mention the lack of sleep that only compounds The fatigue. How is Bruce doing today?

    • Awww you are sweet, and very true on the lack of sleep! Bruce is doing better, the steroids should fully kick in tomorrow so he will be back to getting stabilized. He spent the day sleeping which is good. Poor Leia she is like upset that she doesn’t get a friend to play with today.

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