It is your time, your time to pick joy through the pain or the time to pick yourself off the ground and keep going even when every part of your body wants to stay sitting down. The ironic thing with the RA and Lupus (that so many don’t understand) is that no matter the rest my body never feels rested. The pain is high and steady. The never ending severe pain and fatigue puts me in the place often where it is my time to choose, do I stay in bed and call in or do I get up and push through. Do I stay in the house and shut myself away because I’m so fatigued or do I push myself out the door and talk to someone? Do I look for a good even when it doesn’t seem like there is a good?
I don’t know why this week I thought a lot about my late daddy. Maybe because it has been nearly 7 years since he died….maybe because there are still so many days that I wish he was still there. Who knows maybe it was because I’m a MK Foundation Ambassador and I am so thankful to be able to bring awareness to cancers that affect women. Or maybe it was because I just thought about my home a lot this week, my home as in home home. The little village at the top of a hill, nestled 5,000 ft up, on the El Salvadoranian/Honduran border. I miss the times when I was a kid…it seemed so easy then. But pain was still there! Pain still plagued me then.
I for sure though never thought I would be where I am today. I stopped today and realized when I was a 12 year old kid I remember walking through the dark streets of my village and vowing then to change the world. I told myself I wanted more! I never thought that almost 20 years later I would not be living in my country but I would be living in Houston, Texas. I wouldn’t have barely finished college but I would have finished a doctorate! Wow! I have electricity, running water, a car, and it doesn’t rain 6 months of the year! It is amazing how my determination in my time has led to the future I have now.
I know our worlds are different but I encourage you, take the time, push ahead. And know God has you! He has you in his mighty hands!